One-Child policy

​Women are “rare” and “expensive”

​(Heads up, if you’re in a rush, a longer text follows now, more for those interested in China.)

​It has always been the tradition in China for men to make a “bride price” payment for their wife. But the One-Child Policy, which was only abolished in 2016, led to a shortage of women. The women know this. And a scarce commodity has always been expensive. So, in the big cities, women expect the man to buy them a car, bring an apartment/house into the marriage, and pay a lump sum of approx. €20,000–€70,000 to the bride’s parents. The bride price can easily be 3–10 times a man’s annual income.

China’s population is shrinking and aging

Woman as an import commodity

​This is an extreme burden for young men, and the marriage rate has dropped by almost 50%!! in the last 12 years. The latest trend in the North is Russian women. They lack men in their own country and aren’t as expensive and demanding as Chinese women?

Romance gets left behind

​On the flip side, men want pretty, well-educated women. Ideally, with a good job and no potential (later) “care burdens” (e.g., the bride’s parents should own property and receive a pension).

​So, the act of finding a spouse is a business of negotiating the bride price, and many a romantic love has failed because of the cost.

Chinese dating

​To make a pre-selection, there is a “Marriage Market” in almost every city, usually in the parks, where potential marriage candidates present themselves via postings.

​It’s completely open about income, job, pension entitlements, possessions, and special “assets.”

Matchmaking by parents

Traditionally, parents have always interfered in matchmaking. And if the young people are too “lazy” or busy, the parents or grandparents sit in the park and advertise their children/grandchildren using a profile sheet, sometimes without their kids even knowing. 

Grandparents seeking husbands/wives for their grandkids

Boys still preferred

​Even though the One-Child Policy is over, Chinese people still prefer a male child. The boy keeps the lineage and family name going. Furthermore, parents with “only” girls have no one to care for them in old age, because women move into the man’s family unit.